What an asshole I am!

Really?

Do I really think that I’m qualified to tell you how to eat?

I’m not – I have no education, training, or vocation in nutrition.

There you go…That’s the disclaimer right there.

These are just my opinions (and strategies) on how to eat (better).

Take what you want from this, but just remember it wasn’t recommended by a professional – it was internet graffiti you read on a middle aged dude’s blog.

Due diligence is required, here – Thank You.

 

Okay, still with me?

Good.

This post is aimed at people struggling a bit to get some traction on eating healthier – people looking to get away from eating frozen meals and bar food…For some mental guidance paired with some actual meal ideas.

 

 

It’s not rocket science and the way I think about food has helped me stay lean in these slow metabolism years (post 40).

I want to share it ‘cause I care about you Readers. – My tribe of Five Bag Fitters.

Couple this good eating plan with the Fit Index and you are going places.

I promise.

Onward to the Details!

 

Get Your Head in the Game – Fully and for Real

This is ulimately the whole enchalada of success.

You and that blob of gray matter bouncing around on top of your neck are at the controls.

You have the power.

You make the choices.

Set yourself up win before starting on any new plan not just eating right.

People skip this important step and that’s why they usually fail.

Think of it like painting an interior wall.

HGTV likes to show new homeowners picking colors named “Buttery Sunrise” or something then gleefully rolling that bright yellow metaphor on the wall.

Volia!

They just rehabbed an entire house with a paint brush.

Transformation complete.

What you don’t see is all the hard prep that went into it first.

• Getting all the furniture and stuff out of the way and covered.
• Putting all the painting tarps down.
• Filling cracks and nails holes with joint compound.
• Sanding down all the high spots.
• Cleaning and wiping all the drywall and house dust off the wall.
• Taping 50 yards of edges straight and seamless.
• Painting the trim boards first.
• Reaserching and shopping for all the supplies –
  • Which nap size?
  • Do I have an edging tool?
  • Semi gloss, eggshell, or matte finish? Etc…

 

The prep easily accounts for the majority of a successful visually impressive paint job.

It’s also the most arduous and not fun part of the process.

But, that wall looks like shit without good prep.

You know this so you are patient and diligent about doing these first steps in detail.

Do you understand the analogy?

No?

Okay, here’s how it relates.

Don’t just run off to the grocery store and buy a week’s worth of salads.

You need to make a mental plan to prep your mind as well as your kitchen.

We’re going to focus on weekday success first.

You’ll win the weekends following the victories gotten Monday-Friday…You’ll see.

Get the calendar out and look at what you have coming up on the weekdays ahead.

Any restaurant meet ups planned with friends or family after work?

Any work realted lunches on the horizon?

Any days off?

Mark those down so you can get a meal plan together for those days and not just show up with your weak and fragile mind.

You’re too new at this.

You’re like a little fawn.

A baby deer.

Legs spread out wide looking for balance and footing in this new world.

You need to stand tall and be ready to run.

The predators are coming.

But, they’re not wolves and bears…

They’re  chicken wings, craft beer, and cheesecake.

Diet killing carnivores primed to tempt and devour your fragile eating plan.

 

 

Get what I’m sayin’?

Seriously – this is real.  Start planning.

Don’t fuck up the weekdays with a large pepperoni and 3 IPAs on a Tuesday.

No good.

Stop reading and get off the bus if this is you.

You gotta own this.

Be mindful .

Be Mind Fit!

 

And…. while I’m shaming you, please clean out your fridge.

Get all the shit and rank leftovers out of there.

All the forgotten condiments and half drunk bottles of Pinot are for the trash not your fridge door.

Same for the cabinets.

Out with anything to taunt and temp you during the week.

Into the garbage with any canned or boxed food that hasn’t move in months.

You will fully appreciate a clean slate.

It’s rewarding to fill up the fridge on Sunday with the good stuff then watch it dwindle to an empty clean space by Friday.

 

 

Eating through your groceries with no waste is what us slothful First Worlders should be doing anyways.

 

One more time….Monday through Friday – stake this down in your brain.

Once you string a few work weeks together, it’ll get easier.

Win these days.

Win Them!

 

Side note:

If you fail on any one day during the week then just get right back to the plan the next day.  Don’t use it as an excuse to binge the rest of the week.

If you miss that next day then right the ship at the very next meal.

No saying, “Well I fucked the week up so I’ll start again on Monday.”

No!  None of that loser mentality allowed here.  That putting off the re-start is where the train derails.  You correct the mistake at the next opportunity and forge ahead.  Do this enough and you’ll auto correct without any thought or bargaining.

Listen – We’re humans…We’re flawed…We make mistakes.  It’s how you deal with those mistakes that breeds success.

We’re playing the long game here people.

End Side Note.

 

 

Eliminate your 50/50s

 

This is a good concept that kinda just dawned on me one day.

Are there foods in your life that you can take ‘em or leave ‘em?

Like bread for example.

Do you just eat it because it’s put on the table automatically at every sit down restaurant?

If you’re 50/50 on it just don’t eat it – ever.

I’m lucky, one of my 50/50s is also a literal human killer –

Sugar

I don’t have a sweet tooth.  Don’t crave cookies.  Can easily always skip dessert.  Don’t even want cake on my birthday.

We all know added/refined sugar is bad.

A physio sabotage for staying lean and eating well.

Sure, I enjoyed a trip to the bakery for a crafted confection.

But, I realized that I was just eating that stuff more out of habit and history than desire.

I also know that sugar doesn’t haunt me.

No craving there.

So I just went full stop.

No more muffins or donuts or candy.

Then I started reading the labels of all the  foods I buy looking for “cane sugar” or “ high fructose corn syrup”.

Guess what – sugar added!

I replaced or eliminated all that stuff.

Sugar is a tough one for some people.

They can’t give it up.

Here’s my advice….Don’t.

Just keep it in moderation and look for the real 50/50s in your life.

Cheese?

Bread?

Fries and potato chips?

Deli meat?

Ice cream?

Can you let any of those go?

Do it and don’t look back.

 

Focus on the Weekdays

Let’s circle back to this weekday thing.

This is the crucial piece – the load bearing wall of your eating plan.

So being redundant is allowed!

Stop criticizing and pay attention!

Let’s add a dash of math to this post.

Here’s a formula to get your head around.

3 (meals a day) X 7 (days a week) = 21 (meals per week).

Now to start, we’re focusing on winning the weekdays.

That’s 15 meals to power your body and mind through the Monday-Friday grind.

Congratulations you now have a passing grade on your eating.

15 (quality meals) / 21 (total meals) = .71 or 71%

Each good meal on the weekend is extra credit that bolsters your eating report card.

16 good meals = 76%

17 = 81 %

You want an A for the week then it takes 19 of your 21 total meals.

Do you see the point here?

For me, the weekdays are all about fueling myself through work.  I can put anything in my stomach as long as it fills me up and powers me for those 8-11 hours.

I just decided one day –

Might as well make it as healthy as I can.

 

Here’s my usual weekday menu:

 

Breakfast:

Larabar

Banana, apple, or orange (sometimes all three)

Black coffee

 

 

Sometimes I’ll do a raw egg in a pinch

 

Lunch:

Sweet potatos, lentels, or rice as the base.

Then a heap of vegetables:  Peppers, Broccoli, Summer Squash, Zucchini,

Black beans mixed in for some protein.

 

 

If you’re too lazy to cut all that up (like me most weeks), then frozen vegetables and canned beans work nicely.

 

 

 

Boil a pot of water and cook the lentils (or rice) separately.

Put all the vegetables in a pot with a steamer basket at bottom and cook on high for 20 minutes.

 

 

Spoon out into 5 portions and season with garlic, pepper or whatever you want.

This is easily a pound and a half of food each.

Congratulations, you now have lunch for the week in about 45 minutes.

 

 

 

Into the micro at work and you’ve got a hot stew of goodness for the clean burn.

 

Dinner:

A big salad that has spinach for the base greenery.

Then I load it up with red/yellow/orange peppers, cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes, onions, and grilled chicken or salmon for the protein.

 

 

Dressing is just Olive Oil and Vinaigrette mixed together with a little organic real mustard and garlic.

 

 

 

I essentially eat the same thing every day on the weekdays.

Like I said, during the week I just want to fuel myself so there’s not real desire for variety.

I want to be full.

And I want that fullness to be quick and easy.

It is…and so is the shopping.

I zip in and out because the item list is embedded in my brain now.  No hemming and hawing in the aisles trying to plan meals.

It’s as the Talking Heads say, “Same as it ever was”.

 

Snacks In Between:

I can hear you all groaning about this.

Yeah, it certainly would be great if 3 meals a day cut it with no stomach churning in between.

That’s not reality and if you’re like me then that furnace needs some coal shoveled into it more frequently than every 6 hours.

This is the crack in the dam where processed foods leak through.

Don’t let this happen.

Use the rule of One Ingredient.

• Apple Slices
• Carrot stick
• Cashews
• Almonds
• Peanuts
• Orange
• Banana
• Grapes
• Cherries
• Watermellon
• Pineapple

Just try these before you run off to the vending machine for a Diet Coke and bag of chips.

Don’t hesitate to mix these and make a fruit & nut potpourri.

I never would have thought I’d take a liking to cut up apple and cashews, but  – Oh Baby! – I sure do.

Also – drink a shit load of water – It helps,

 

Another Side Note:

Small hunger twinges between meals are something you have to master.

For the most part, your stomach is telling your brain to put something in your mouth to chew and swallow.

The act of doing that will usually end the interaction between those two body parts.

Your conscious mind chooses the food medium.

Start making that choice a One Ingredient item.

Soon you’ll see that just the act of moving your mouth and swallowing is enough to satisfy.

End Side Note.

 

If you want to go processed on the snack, then be smart about it.

People think all those granola bars, Fiber One bars, and cereal bars are fine.

They are not fine.

They are garbage.

Read the ingredients.

I bet there are at least 8 things listed that sound more like something from a chemistry set and less like a food.

If you like the convenience of prepackaged food then stick with natural ingredients.

Here’s the label from the Larabars I eat.

 

The above image is from the Larabar website

 

There are other products like this.  Raw Revolution bars come to mind.

Just read the label with the prerequisite for eating it being you must recognize every ingredient as a natural food item.

 

Let’s Wrap It Up

 

This is just what I do.

It might not be right.

But, it’s been working well for me over the last five years.

Listen – I struggle.

I fail.

Some of my weekend meals are crap.

I’m five beers deep with a frozen pizza cooking in the oven as I type this.

I still have my vices and so do you.

But, don’t sweat it ’cause you are super diligent Monday through Friday and win at least 15 meals a week.

Eat like this.

Stick to your Fit Index.

And you’ll be good as 50 years old approaches.